To love means loving the unlovable.
To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable.
Faith means believing the unbelievable.
Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
G.K. Chesterton

By Mary Colleen McKibben

December 2011

The years past and Utopia has vanished
as all myths seem to do
The sea has swallowed up Atlantis
Olympia’s Gods died with unbelief
Camelot faded into a mist of magic
promising dreams of youth turned to ashes by reality

When darkness overtakes you
pulling at the buoyant spirit over and over
Disappointment is a relentless monster
feeding on your misery
the anchor of hope grows weaker
Unnourished and tired
dimming the bright powerful light
it was created to be

The myths tell us hope was all that was left
at the bottom of Pandora’s Box
after disease, famine and war was set free
offering a gift to balance a mistake
too inconceivable to believe
Hope is a warrior
fighting for each person individually

Go to your heart where it beats with each breathe
Unconditional love surounds you
Energy pushing at that darkness

Clean and strong
Vibrant with light
protecting that thin layer of the soul

Focus your attention
stay who you are
hope has the power to create beauty

Nothing is separate
receive the gift of hope
don’t doubt
change happens

New beginnings and love
feel whole
live without fear
think outside the box
unwrap the unique possibilities
that are only you

Such a small particle of hope
priceless
keeping your dreams and purposes
building like a skyscraper reaching for the heavens
life is never completely finished
there are always sweet surprises.

I’m not addicted to twitter I only tweet when I have time:  lunchtime, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.  Damn Right Tweets May 5, 2011

So it has been a long time…a REALLY long time.  I am ready and willing to pick up the muse and a pen and start writing again.  This should make a few of my dedicated readers happy to know what is going on in my head as my head is full of such random and interesting thoughts.  I thought I would start with Twitter and the large amount of fun I have with this great time waster.

I first joined twitter because one of my friends had joined and I like to keep up on his tweets.  I was not getting the FULL potential of the twitter experience at the time but it was interesting to see this new media outlet.  When I got an updated phone I had to have unlimited texts added as a standard.  At that time  my texts where not even close to being as large as a social and mulit-friend teenager but I got bored with my phone and since I don’t have a lot of phone usage I decided to up the text and twitter and get my money’s worth.

One day I went to my account and added a bunch of fun sites.  I love quotes (as you can tell) so many quote sites got added as well as movie sites, and some fun extra curricular items.  Then I went back and became a compulsive shopper of twitter I tried everything just to see if it was fun and informative.  NOW I do have the tweets equal to a teenager.  My friend said her teenager boy had over 5,000 tweets in one month (this is actually more impressive because he isn’t on twitter so it is just from FRIENDS) GO Vincent!   I have 6,487 from my last statement but 95 % are twitter. 

On Sunday with the announcement of the death of Bin Laden twitter was really insane.  Everyone had an option and was sharing.  It has become instant gratification for telling our views.  Fast thoughts aren’t always great thoughts.  It certainly gives you a frame of what the general public thinks.  The good, the bad and the ugly.

What can be a pain is looking for a good tweet, say from your best friend in the middle of the random tweets in the morning. Scrolling through 172 texts looking for a golden nugget threw all the chaff is dedication to the process.  However you also get funny random notices that make you laugh and lighten the day.  If you want to know the latest on what the President is up to or the latest news on CNN, even your local congressperson it is available for a simple click.

Is being so media overloaded a good thing?  It certainly is a wonderful time killer and gives my phone a purpose.  I am sure my reading speed has gone up a couple of points as well.  Does anyone besides me miss voice conversations?  There is something so nice about hearing a love ones voice but everyone has gotten out of phone calls because we multi-task at work, home and while traveling to other places.  People are apt to check email before voice mail.   

With all things I think balance is key.  It is helpful to remember that twitter is a tool and to use it wisely.  With all the different ways to keep in touch twitter is just the newest to add to the pool of email, cell phones, land lines, pagers, faxes and web sites.  It is the lasting power that will prove the true winner.

Everything in the universe has rhythm.  Everything dances.  Mary Angelou

Two exciting things happened to me this week that made me break the long, long, silence I have had on my blog.  I woke up and the world turned to glitter and color and fun when I got in my email account a notice that Lady Gaga was coming to Denver in July!  I am on top of my little dance feet!    In fact I am listening to her right now.  I am already looking at prices and seats.  I can tell you there is NO WAY I am missing this concert.  I was a green-eyed monster a few months ago when one of my friends got to see her concert in New York.  Some secrets have been spilled, but not enough, I still haven’t seen the concert book!  Any artist that can get you up and moving in your apartment after a long week has power.  When you play her music it just makes you happy and full of energy.

The other exciting dancing news is Dancing with the stars started this week.  Yes, it is sometimes like an accident on the side of the road, but you also have the costumes, the cool moves, the drama!   It is fun to see other people go out and have fun learning something new and try to dazzle the American audiences.

I just love to see dancing in all forms.  I forced my room-mate to watch the show with me again tonight just to see it all again.  I  was impressed with her comments and knowledge.  She was a master judge.  She picked up things I didn’t see.  I even found a new friend on my game site just through talking about Dancing with the Stars.  Now you must admit that doesn’t happen too often.

Another clue to my dancing love is I have a disco ball in my living room that was a prize for dancing at a company party.  For me it is a shiny reminder of another part of dancing which is exciting, the low lights with the flashing colors.  The fact that magic happens when the right song plays on the right dance floor  and you are with people who make you feel free to truly dance and enjoy the moment.

I actually bought an exercise tape that was dance moves because outside of swimming (which makes you feel weightless) and walking (which I must do since it is my mode of transportation outside of the bus) I would dance always.

Dancing is magic.

By Mary Colleen McKibben

An artist’s

Last words

To the world

“The sadness will never go away”

A field of wheat

Under troubled skies

For no one saw

The great fire in our soul

No one came to warm themselves

Passers by

See only wisp of smoke

And go along their way

No one understood

What the impassioned artist

Was trying to say

It was as if…

It were a foreign language

Years of rejection

Loneliness

Depression

Spiritual deterioration

Reflections of faith

Few and father between

Our tool

To restore sanity

Looked at a distance

Shaken heads

Footsteps walked away

Do you understand?

See the light in our soul

Not the darkness

Do you stop to see?

For The Conformation Youth

By Mary Colleen McKibben

I do not want you to become lost

For you are precious to me

Take my gift and treat it reverently

Inside are maps to help lead your way

Instruction to handle problems

Light to banish fears

Poetry to feed your soul

A direct connection

So you never travel alone

I am with you always

Going before

Come closer to me

Read my words of love

By Mary Colleen McKibben

The worst possible thought

Happened

With no idea how to handle it

Where to turn

Your body was charged

With things

You didn’t know what to do with

Confusing reining supreme

Society believes you are a heathen

Going straight to hell

Other thinks time will change

All those images in your head

Felling lost and afraid

Boxed in a cage

With no idea how to escape

The poundings of wrong

Spinning and spinning

Until you fall in a tumble

Sick oh so sick

To many people

Cast Away

By Mary Colleen McKibben

An Island

In miles of land

Alone

In a sea of faces

An outcast

Society remains unaware of

Derelict

Forsaken before being born

Rejected by all

A leper

With pieces of soul

Falling off

Ishmael

God hears

Tears of mothers

Families torn

From the son of Abraham

The stars are still unborn

Off scouring

Thrown away rubbish

Untouchable

Not fit for dogs

Who hears the cries

Of the unnoticed

Pariah

Beat your drum

For the dejected

More countries than India

Have considered

Humans

Less than property

Slaves

Murder the souls

Waste them away

Uninhabited minds

Ashes of potential

Frittered and consumed

Blow after blow

Dissipated time

Squander the minutes

Shipwreck!

I am a castaway

In an overconfident world.

When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness.  Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.  Margaret Wheatley

I know I said a few blogs ago I don’t believe in New Year resolutions and I didn’t have any for 2010; but if I was to step out on that ledge and proclaim one, it would be to connect more one on one with people.  For the past year and half I have been in hibernation mode.  As humans we sometimes expand and retract and I was in a retract movement.  Not that one is good or bad, in both there is growth and knowledge but sometimes one can get stuck in a rut and I for sure have decided I am in a small one so I need to shake it up!

I have learned with my years and wisdom that I am a girl who is better one on one vs. the group project.  The problem is that to meet new people and get to the one on one action where a lot of connection is possible you have to do it in a group setting.

The other thing is and please chime in; but has everyone noticed how homebody we are all becoming?  It is a lot of work to get out of our comfort zone and the warmth of our safe homes.  Not very many people really want to put the effort or time into it.  You get at least 8 cancellations for one real meet up.  I actually got a room-mate this past year and that has for sure helped in our activities but still for as much as we could go out and do something, we don’t.   To be fair this has to do with a lot of variables and not just how much we like each other as friends and the fact we are close in living space.

To counter this I have decided I need to get out a little bit more than I do and meet some other people who might be willing to hang out with such an interesting person as myself.  Connection is very important to me.   A fact that came very clear  the past couple months when I saw how happy I am when I have that strong connection with some of my other friends.  You think you can live without it and that it is easier and less painful at times if you do stay in that safe warm environment, but then you also miss out a lot on life.

We will see how this all works for me in 2010.  For sure you can count on updates!

Even what can appear to be the most common, small, and simple of objects, can reveal itself to be on its own terms as complex and as grand as a space shuttle or a great suspension bridge.  Henry Petroski

Tonight I wish my magic wand could perform the amazing magic of giving me a penis.  It seems (at least today) that having this wonderous object can make doors open and give you advantages having twin girls do not.

Doors open faster and wider when you are part of the boys club.  You lose weight faster, find more romantic partners; don’t care about emotions or when someone steps on your toes, you can beat someone up, sweat and wear cologne without being told it is overpowering.  I have always wanted to pee standing up and having easy access to the parts….well that HAS to have advantages.

Think about it a woman hasn’t even made it to the vice-president spot let alone president.  While I know that woman are capable of just as much as a man is, it seem the rest of the world does not walk the walk even if they speak words saying we are equal.  Men get paid more and have more positions of power than woman do.  Even if your boss is a woman more than likely she will treat the man with more respect than the woman.

Is this fair?  Of course not.  What is the magic over such a body part?  Does it raise your IQ?   If there is a boys club why don’t the girls have a club that is just as powerful?  Men can have children longer and marry women much younger and not get a word.  Yet as women get older they are given to pasture not thought of as worth much since they can’t have children anymore.

Yet if the world was nothing but men not only would they die out but there would be some other distinguishing trait that would decide who got to be king of the hill and the other poor saps who are crawling on the bottom.

I would miss my glitter and the outfits, but really if I got the rest of the package it would seem worth it, perhaps only for a day.   I could understand finally what the fuss was all about and why size is so important.

Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.  Twitter from Rachel Ballard 6:15 pm October 23,2009

WARNING:  This blog will make you look at Theater Seats in a WHOLE new way.

It has been a busy weekend for me and when I was in the movie theater waiting for the movie “The princess and the frog” to start an unexpected moment  happened and it was so funny and unique I had to share.

I was waiting for the theater people to clean out the theater and a woman whose name was known as the MASTER TRASHMASHER zoomed by me.  I quickly asked if she asked for that title in her name and she assured me it was an honor to have it.  It however, quickly became one of those duties that fall under “other duties as assigned”.

As excited kids sometimes have accidents, there was a child who while in the movie theater seat had pee their pants and one of the seats had to have that MASTER cleaning involved.  It was not pretty.

I asked if I could at least know where the seat was so I could avoid that area (and I was told)  While talking to the Master Trashmasher she was telling me there are MANY other things she has had to clean, one of the worst being vomit. (which I will easily agree with, the smell alone is nasty)  This got me thinking what else she could be cleaning up in seats and I am sure your imagination is as good as mine so I will pause while you think about it….

Since I spend quite a lot of time in theaters at that moment I have added a new procedure to my picking seats and that is to feel them to make sure they are not damp. (You might also want to start doing this).

When I was telling my roommate about this on the car ride home we starting laughing  uncontrollably especially when I told her it made one of the songs in the movie by the firefly “Follow my Butt” so much more funny.  Although the song on its own is brilliant.  One of the best Disney songs EVER!  Check it out.

Life is full of accidents and those unexpected warmth moments that can be embarrassing as well as smelly, but you do not forget them and they can become your own fables.  While I know some of my readers will not think this is a magic moment, at the time it was because I connected to the Master Trashmasher and the person collecting the tickets.  It became a funny moment to share with my room-mate and as the weekend took on it was remembered in fondness.  How many times can you say that about pee?   See what I mean….magic!